Depending on who you ask, sexual orientation is either given at birth, learned by nature or discovered over time. Personally I’ve known since I was about five-years-old – it was pretty clear to me. However for many of my bisexual friends, it wasn’t as obvious until later on.
For years I never understood what made us all so different. As human beings we’re stuck in our own realm of understanding. What we know to be true, is. All we have is our experience which ultimately shapes an identity. I never thought the idea of a “spectrum” was authentic. I knew I was gay just as my straight friends knew they were straight. It never occurred to me that people could exist on different levels – you were either gay or straight. But I was wrong.
The spectrum of orientation exists. Why? Because every person’s brain is different. Our biological patterns, DNA structuring, and chemical compounds are all different from each other. Not one person is the same, therefore, are physiological makeup is never perfectly matched up with anyone else. Just as someone might not like cotton candy as much as their neighbor, so exists the scale of human sexuality. And because the majority of us exist on the further end of the spectrum, it’s easy to assume that those who live in the middle are either confused or lying.
Total understanding of sexual orientation has not yet been brought to scientific fruition, which is why someone’s identity is totally defined by them and them alone. Bisexuality exists, as does the spectrum, so maybe it’s time to start believing people when they identify themselves as such. Psychologically, it’s difficult for us to see things through someone else’s perspective because we know what we know. The life I’ve lived as a closeted gay guy in small town Texas is vastly different than one who’s grown up in Greenwich Village or Chicago or Miami or Israel or South Africa. The perception of our sexuality is going to be perceived at different angles and philosophies – now, think about the human brain.
We’re all built from different genes. Our brains vary in size, activating at different speeds and releasing neurotransmitters at various amounts. We range on a multitude of levels, that itself is easily seen through the millions of personalities we’ll meet in our lifetime. How, then, can anyone deny that we’re limited to only one side of the spectrum?
Contrary to wide belief, human beings exist on a plethora of angles. We were just born that way. Our brains are large, but that doesn’t mean we’re the most well operated – though we like to think so. We have a knack of wanting to problem solve, thank God for that otherwise we probably wouldn’t have survived all this time. But there are certain things, in my opinion, where the only answer is no answer at all.
My orientation is my own. I know where I stand in my attraction to men vs. women. Someone else’s orientation is their own. I’m not in your head just as much as you’re not in mine. Life itself is a spectrum, we tread countless of them on a daily basis. Some people have short tempers, others don’t. Some people are allergic to lactose, others aren’t.
Some people are gay, some are bisexual, some are pansexual, some are asexual, some are transgender. Whatever their identity is, it’s made by them. They’re the ones living inside their heads – no one else. So why are we constantly trying to prove people wrong when they tell us who they are? It’s only going to create more fear of judgment. We are who we are. And we’re all different.
Written By: David Artavia
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